i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Randomize
