So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
Randomize
