My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
Randomize