remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
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