in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
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