we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
Randomize