Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
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