I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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