fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Randomize
