If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
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