she takes plan B like it's going out of style
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
