So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
I'm passing your future prison.
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
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