"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
