Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
He did a backflip because drugs
Randomize