I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
Randomize
