White coat. Heels.
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
My dad just said "fuck circus"
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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