All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
