Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
Randomize