I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
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Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
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