What a fucking waste of an outfit
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"