Texts From Last Night

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  (773): View more from Illinois

  My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.

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  (773): My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas. http://tfl.nu/zv1j
  Replies (1) Good night (516) Bad night (804) Order T-Shirt
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  (931): View more from Tennessee

  dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.

  (803): View more from South Carolina

  kinda like you and your friends.

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  (931): dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny. (803): kinda like you and your friends. http://tfl.nu/yef0
  Replies (14) Good night (617) Bad night (2147)
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  (319): View more from Iowa

  The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue

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  (319): The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue http://tfl.nu/hmo2
  Replies (23) Good night (7997) Bad night (599) Order T-Shirt
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  (732): View more from New Jersey

  Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out

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  (732): Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out http://tfl.nu/au0t
  Replies (33) Good night (2729) Bad night (5718) Order T-Shirt
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  (330): View more from Ohio

  So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night

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  (330): So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night http://tfl.nu/sszo
  Replies (4) Good night (1300) Bad night (2658) Order T-Shirt
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  (905): View more from Ontario

  He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer

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  (905): He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer http://tfl.nu/xvzr
  Replies (9) Good night (4647) Bad night (1119) Order T-Shirt
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  (206): View more from Washington

  riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea

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  (206): riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea http://tfl.nu/w3tl
  Replies (4) Good night (1505) Bad night (1319) Order T-Shirt
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons

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  (203): I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons http://tfl.nu/atte
  Replies (5) Good night (2755) Bad night (867) Order T-Shirt
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  (479): View more from Arkansas

  Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.

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  (479): Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless. http://tfl.nu/pb8t
  Replies (6) Good night (1968) Bad night (450) Order T-Shirt
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  (262): View more from Wisconsin

  i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.

  (715): View more from Wisconsin

  okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.

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  (262): i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching. (715): okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference. http://tfl.nu/rrjb
  Replies (11) Good night (4065) Bad night (843)
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  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?

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  (570): Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me? http://tfl.nu/gcj7
  Replies (13) Good night (592) Bad night (1112) Order T-Shirt
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  (205): View more from Alabama

  I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.

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  (205): I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment. http://tfl.nu/97ug
  Replies (4) Good night (1709) Bad night (415) Order T-Shirt
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  (805): View more from California

  No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.

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  (805): No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard. http://tfl.nu/br69
  Replies (5) Good night (2078) Bad night (365) Order T-Shirt
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  (218): View more from Minnesota

  There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.

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  (218): There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon. http://tfl.nu/foxi
  Replies (5) Good night (1371) Bad night (222) Order T-Shirt
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  (805): View more from California

  Is the party worth it?

  (512): View more from Texas

  I am drink. Beer pony and singing.

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  (805): Is the party worth it? (512): I am drink. Beer pony and singing. http://tfl.nu/lz1y
  Replies (2) Good night (899) Bad night (219)

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