Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
I'm determined to sit on that face.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
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