shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
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