You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
Randomize
