Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
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