ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
These 19 Teachers Had Very Inappropriate Interactions With Students
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
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I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
I just started talking about how noodles were so good