im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.