The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
Randomize