I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
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