He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
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