My sheets look like a crime scene.
Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
And then my night got REAL pukey
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
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