Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
Randomize
