On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Randomize