I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
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