But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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