My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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