We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Randomize
