When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
cat food counts as protein by the way
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
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