Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
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I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
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