Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
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