saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
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