Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
Randomize
