I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Randomize