I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
Randomize