guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
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