So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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