You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
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