I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
Girls should come with a carfax report
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
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Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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