She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
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