All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
Randomize