How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
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