it was like his penis was on wheels.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
