Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
People with herpes should wear stickers.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
Can't talk, ducks in the car
Randomize
